When You Let Your Heart Win
by xoxEllexox
Summary: When Meredith has to make a decision, who will she choose? MerMark, MerDer


_**Hey.**_

**_If this is out of character, i'm sorry. _**

**_It was originally an NCIS fic, that's why it says there is another one on my profile page._**

**_If a name says Ziva, Abby, Tony or McGee in here, i'm sorry._**

**_I had to re-wrie parts to suit Grey's._**

**_You may hate me at the end..._**

**_Review._**

**_xoxElle_**

* * *

_**No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore.  
It's your turn; to take a seat we're settling the final score.  
And why do we like to hurt, so much?**_

Meredith leaned forward and kissed the man standing in front of her. They were standing in the middle of her living room. She pulled away and placed a hand on his chest. He sighed and softly rubbed her cheek.

"We shouldn't" He said to her.

"I know" She said. "It's just…"

"You know you have to choose" He said taking his hand away from her face.

"I know"

"I'll wait, but don't take too long, because I wont wait forever" He said kissing her again and walked away and out her door.

"Alright Mark"

**I can't decide  
You have made it harder just to go on  
And why?  
All the possibilities...  
Well I was wrong**

How did she get here? Months ago she was in the perfect relationship with Derek. That is until Addison came back into the picture. Meredith had caught them kissing and ended it with him straight away. A few weeks after that she begun to date Mark, Derek had been very jealous. Her feelings for Mark had gotten stronger as they dated. But then, two days ago Derek had to ruin it. He wanted her back. Badly. He had literally begged her to take him back. Mark had walked in on this happening and he and Derek both agreed she had to choose. They gave her three days to decide.

_**  
That's what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa!  
That's what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa...  
I drown out all my sense with the sound of its beating.  
And that's what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa.  
**_

With one day left, she still hadn't made her decision. Mark had broken one of the rules and come to see her. She and Cristina had planed to go out tonight and get very drunk, so that she could take her mind of everything that was going on. When Cristina had found out about her and Mark she was very shocked, but when Meredith told her what Derek did, she instantly began to like Mark.

Now she was sitting in a bar with Cristina, knocking down tequilas.

"You know what?" A very drunk Meredith said to a sober Cristina. "This sucks. Why'd they have to make me choose. Why can't I have both of them?"

Abby took a sip of her Diet Coke and nodded "That would be creepy"

"They gave me three days to decide…I had time…all anybody really has is time…" she trailed off. "No matter which one of them I choose, it's going to make it awkward at the hospital. And it'll me my fault! Stupid…"

Cristina was entertained by drunk-Meredith, though it may not have been under the best circumstances, it was still entertaining. She never really saw Meredith drunk without her being drunk herself.

"Do you love Mark?" Cristina asked.

Meredith thought for a moment. "Yes"

Cristina nodded. "Do you love Derek?"

Without hesitation she said "Yes"

"That helps…" Cristina mumbled.

"Hey Joe! More tequila please!" Meredith called to Joe.

"Ok time to get you home. You got to make up your mind tomorrow, and you can't do that if you've got a worse hangover that your already gonna have" Cristina said pulling Meredith up from her seat. She stumbled slightly.

When Cristina got her home she fell asleep instantly. Before she slept though, she finally realized how empty the bed felt when she was alone.

_**  
I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here.  
'Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here.  
I still try... holding onto silly things, I never learn.  
Oh why? All the possibilities. I'm sure you've heard.  
**_

The next morning she woke up at the usual time at 5am. She took something for her headache and picked up a coin.

"Alright" She said to herself. "Heads Derek, Tails Mark"

She remembered she did this for Derek and Finn. Why did love have to suck?

She flipped it onto the table. It landed on its side.

_**  
That's what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa!  
That's what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa..  
I drown out all my sense with the sound of its beating.  
And that's what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa.  
**_

If she chose Derek, then he would most likely break her heart again. But he might not.

If she chose Mark, he might cheat on her. But he might not.

Man this sucked.

_**They, make your way to me.  
And I'll always be just so inviting.  
If I ever start to think straight,  
This heart will start a riot in me,  
Let's start... Start, hey!**_

She was going to break one of their hearts no matter what she did. She sat in silence for an hour. Then she finally made her decision. It hurt her to think what she was going to do to one of them.

_**Why do we like to hurt so much?  
Oh why do we like to her so much?  
**_

She walked into SGH and went to the elevator that would take her to the surgical floor. She was going to sit in the on call room for half the day after rounds, or she could ask Baliey if she could spend the day in the pit. Hopefully avoiding Mark and Derek. The doors opened and Mark and Derek stood there. Well that worked out well.

"Told you it would work" Mark said to Derek.

"Have you made your choice?" Derek asked as she stepped into the elevator.

She nodded slightly.

"You know, whoever you decided, we'll be ok with it" Mark said, Derek nodded in agreement

_**  
That's what you get when you let your heart win!  
Whoa.**_

They stepped out of the elevator and walked through the hall in silence. She went into the resident's locker room and saw no-one was in there yet. She sighed in relief. She put her bag in her little cubby and then walked up to stand in front of them both.

**That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.  
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.**

She new she was making the right decision. But it didn't make the whole thing hurt any less.

_**  
Now I can't trust myself with anything but this,  
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.**_

Meredith looked at them both. Of everything she had gone through in her life, nothing compared to this. Not even the Finn fiasco.

She took a deep breath.

"I choose…"

* * *

**_Review. No flames._**

**_If it's OOC sorry._**

**_xoxElle_**


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